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Section:
Italian Harlem:
Humor |
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Directory: New York
City
History |
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| Summary: Click on the link to view the complete article.
NOTE: May open in new window and leave The
History Box.com's Website |
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Section: |
Italian Humor |
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 Am
I a New Yawker tawkin, or is my East Harlem
accent showin!
There is a distinct characteristic about
accents that seem to stand out, no matter
how much you try to improve it, whether you
are from East Harlem, Brooklyn, New York or
any other state or country. Accents are
defined as a mode of utterance;
pronunciation. Accents also reflect places
of origin.
Several years ago I lived in Florida for a
short time. One day while I was waiting on
line to cash out my groceries, at the local
super market, I was chatting with my friend
when the man that was behind me, asked me a
question. "Excuse me you're from New York
right?" Surprised, I looked at him and said,
"Yeah! Why ya askin?" "Not for anything, but
you talk with a unique accent." "Whaddya
tawkinabow accent?" I responded, feeling
self-conscious. I was trying hard not to
show my annoyance as I told him, "So whadsa
madda wid da way Noo Yawkers tawk?” "yagoddaproblimwiddat?
The man seeing that I was becoming
defensive, answered immediately and without
even the slightest hesitation, "Please don't
take offense, its just that you kind of talk
like a hood" " whaddayanutz! Gedoutahea, I
tawk like a hood?" I never realized that my
East Harlem accent stood out, until the day
this man brought it to my attention.
Naturally over the years my pronunciation
has greatly improved, except for the holiday
get-togethers with my nieces and nephew on
the Italian side of the family from Yonkers,
then it all comes back. Love it, love it,
love it...................That's when I
really let my hair down.
Here are a couple of words and expressions
still being used by some Noo Yawkers. "Whaddya
tawkin? Pronounced waddya talkin' or wuddya
talkin'. It simply means "what are you
talking about?" or "what do you mean?"."I'm
a Noo Yawka, Didn'chat know that?" "
Gedoutahea, yer pudding me on! " "Yeah, I
kum fun Noo Yawk." "Would ja ged a grip!" "
Did'ju or did'ja," "Would'ju or would'ja, ".
"Soopah (Super)," "datzuhbowditfuddat
(that's about it for that)." " Fur sur I'm
ohn the fawth floor," "Wawda (water)," "I'll
have a tooner samwidge: (tuna sandwich)," "
I live on a hun'six near Toid". "Gimme a cup
of cawfy (coffee)," " Who's dat goil?
(girl)," " I shudda had my brudda over the
udda day," " My mudda and fodda are goin
downashaw ohn Lawnguylund, " "Datsawayigoze
(That's the way it goes)," "Youse (you)," "
I wud be da foist to tell you if my brudda
was na here," "Fugheddaboudid! I ain't
saying nuttin," "Gwan, gedoutahea before I
call the cops" "Gimme a slizer pizzer anna
soder."
If you have any more to add to this list
feel free to contact me, so I can put it on
our Italian Harlem message board.
miriammedina@earthlink.net or
miriam@thehistorybox.com |
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Italian Jokes....Very Funny! |
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Italian Math Test
(Author Unknown...)
An Italian man wants a
job, but the foreman won't hire him until he
passes a little math test. "Here's your
first question," the foreman said. "Without
using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa
easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" says the boss. "Ave you got
no brain says the Italian? Tree and tree and
tree makea nine," "Fair enough," says the
boss. "Here's your second question. Use the
same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Italian stares into space for a while,
then picks up the picture that he has just
drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere
a you go." The boss scratches his head and
says, "How on earth do you get that to
represent 99 ?" The Italian says…"Each of da
trees isa dirty now. So, it's a dirty tree,
and a dirty tree, and a dirty tree. Datsa
99." The boss is getting worried now that
he's actually going to have to hire this
Italian, so he says, "All right, last
question. Same rules again, but represent
the number 100." The Italian stares into
space some more, then he picks up the
picture again and makes a little mark at the
base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One
hundred." The boss looks at the attempt.
"You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred!" The Italian leans
forward and points to the marks at the base
of each tree and says, "A little doga came
alonga, he crapa by eacha tree. So now you
gota dirty tree and a turd, a dirty tree and
a turd, and a dirty tree and a turd……datsa
makea one hundred. So, whena I gonna start?"
Permission to use by: Anthony's
Spaghetti Sauce and Meatballs.com
http://www.spaghettisauceandmeatballs.com/sitemap.html |
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Italian Cookies
(Author Unknown...)
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending
death, he suddenly smelled the
aroma of his favorite Italian anisette
sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. He
gathered his remaining strength, and lifted
himself from the bed. Leaning against the
wall, he slowly made his way out of the
bedroom, and with even greater effort,
gripping the railing with both hands, he
crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he
leaned against the door frame, gazing into
the kitchen. Were if not for death's agony,
he would have thought himself already in
heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed
paper on the kitchen table were literally
hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled
cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final
act of heroic love from his devoted Italian
wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he
left this world a happy man? Mustering one
great final effort, he threw himself towards
the table, landing on his knees in a
crumpled posture. His parched lips parted,
the wondrous taste of the cookie was already
in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to
life. The aged and withered hand trembled on
its way to a cookie at the edge of the
table, when it was suddenly smacked with a
spatula by his wife......
"Back off!" she said, "They're for the
funeral."
Permission to use by: Anthony's
Spaghetti Sauce and Meatballs. com
http://www.spaghettisauceandmeatballs.com/sitemap.html |
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Italian Mother (Author
Unknown...)
A young Italian man excitedly tells his
mother he's fallen in love and that he is
going to get married. He says, "Just for fun
Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and
you try and guess which one I'm going to
marry." His mother agrees. The next day, he
brings three beautiful women into the house
and sits them down on the couch and they
chat for a while. He then says, "Okay Ma,
guess which one I'm going to marry." She
immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing Ma!! You're right! How did
you know?"
The Italian mother replies, "I don't like
her."Permission
to use by: Anthony's Spaghetti Sauce and
Meatballs. com
http://www.spaghettisauceandmeatballs.com/sitemap.html
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The following was contributed by Bob Maida, who is an
active member and photographer of the East
Harlem Giglio Society.
Come stai? Molto bene.
Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian
from Italy knows these words and every
Italian-American should. Here are some words
and phrases that are a little Italian, a
little American, and a little slang , that
we hear throughout Little Italy neighborhood
and East Harlem, New York.. |
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Oofah_ (a sigh when you are
bored, exasperated or annoyed) |
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Mama Mia_ anytime emotion is needed in
any given situation. |
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Mannaggia _(may evil have
him) |
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Ciao_ when a person arrives or leaves. |
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He or she gets "agita "
(state of agitation that comes from an upset
stomach) from the gravy. |
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He uses a "moppeen " (moppina=from mop,
towel) to wipe his hands in the
cuchina.(Kitchen) |
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A crazy diavlo can give you
the malokya (evil eye), but that red horn
(contra malokya) will protect you if you use
it right. |
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Always foonah(sink or dunk) your bread
in the pot of gravy (sauce) or you will be
considered a real coogootz (blockhead). |
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If you are feeling mooshadda
or stounad or mezzo-morto, always head to
Nonna's and she will fix you up with a
little homemade manicott', cavadell', or
calamar ', or some ricotta cheesecake. |
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Mangia some zeppoles, canolis, torrone,
struffoli, shfoolyadell', pignoli cookies,
or a little nutella on pannetone. Delizioso!
I think I will fix myself a sangweech of
cabagol' with some proshoot and mozarell' or
maybe just a hot slice of peetza . |
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He will shkeevats meatballs
unless they are homemade from the famiglia. |
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Don't forget to always say per favore
and grazia and prego.(You're welcome) |
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So
salud if you have any italian blood in you
and you understood anything written here!
If
you don't get any of this, then
FUGHEDDABOUDIT! "CAPEESH? |
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You Know You're Italian
When............ |
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| You attend more than 10
weddings a year. |
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When pasta is served everyday for
supper. |
| When your cheeks get pinched
and money shoved in your pocket. |
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Your conversations at the dinner table
can be heard next door. |
| You were as tall as your
grandmother by the age of eight. |
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"Fuhggettaboutit" is part of your
everyday vocabulary. |
| You feel comfortable when
you sit on plastic-covered furniture. |
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Your friends come over for dinner and
they leave 8 pounds heavier. |
| You've been hit with a
wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you by
either your mother or your nonna. |
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Everyone over
the age of 55 in your family is short, fat,
and wears nothing but black. |
| At least six of your cousins
live on the same street as you and they're
all named after your grandfather.. |
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When the
beautician, the accountant, the mechanic,
the plumber and the electrician are all
related to you. |
| You have at least five or
more male relatives by the name of Frank,
Tony, Mike or Louie. |
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There's a crucifix in every room of the
house, including the garage and cellar. |
| You netted more than $30,000
on your first communion. |
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Every opportunity your nonna gets to see
you she tries to feed you. |
| Every sunday you would visit
your grandparents or other relatives house. |
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You mix some Italian with English when
you speak. |
| Your nonna sends you a care
package at least once a week. |
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